Question:

Hi - I'm a Roman Catholic with a question...Recently friends (a Catholic couple) were godparents to an Episcopalian child. We wondered what requirements the Episcopal church are for godparents and if this situation was somehow different than the norm. In the Catholic church one godparent must be Catholic. The second may be either Catholic or a baptized Christian of another faith (would be called a Christian Witness). This is also of interest to me since I teach Baptismal Preparation at my church.

Answer:

Baptismal sponsors (commonly called godparents)...

...must be baptized Christians. The Anglican (Episcopalian) church does not quibble over denominational distinctions; church doctrine is that there is One, Holy and Catholic Church; and the means by which one joins that church is Baptism. So, although their own church may make special rules for Roman Catholics as distinct from the rest of us -- we consider ourselves Catholic too, BTW, "Catholic *and* Reformed" -- we make no special rules for them.

Some priests may ask that a member of the congregation stand sponsor, in addition to any other sponsors. This is to ensure that there's at least some continuing link between the child and the community performing the sacrament, since many parents want to "have their children done" for traditional or social reasons rather than true religious ones. Some priests will simply refuse to baptise where they believe this to be the motive, others give the parents the benefit of the doubt but insist on the community sponsor. Where the parents are active Christians, they can stand sponsor for their own child, and no additional sponsors are required. In any event, only one sponsor is *required*, but Anglican custom is that each girl should have two godmothers and a godfather (they may include her parents) and similarly each boy should have two godfathers and a godmother.

The role of godparents varies wildly with circumstances...

Technically, they are called "sponsors" nowadays. The parents are considered sponsors, and only one sponsor is required. The sponsor promises to ensure the child is raised as a Christian. It is generally assumed that the parent-sponsor will undertake this responsibility and any additional sponsors are honourary. So, it is assumed, if they don't do anything, it's no big deal :-(. Some parents prefer it that way -- they don't really want those adult friends meddling in their child's spiritual training. I've even been scolded by parents -- more than once -- for lending a potential godparent the relevant prayer-book so that he could see what promises he would be making. After all, it's "just a formality", right?

Actually, I'm more of the opinion that solemn vows before God are *never* "just a formality", even the one where the congregation promises to do all that is in their power to support these persons in their life in Christ. But those of us who have been burned by cultural Anglicanism know how those promises, too, are often just words.

Fortunately, some parents consider the shared responsibility for their child a gift that they give the godparent -- some godparents appreciate and receive that gift. Then they are both blessed, and the child doubly so. One of the worst parts about not worshipping with our former home parish is that my littlest rarely gets to see her beloved Godmommy and Godpoppy. I wish she could worship with them every week as we used -- but on the occasions that she does see them they are there for her 110%. It would be grievously disappointing if they just didn't care!

On the one hand, since the Godparent relationship is formed at baptism, you can't really change it afterward. On the other hand, since it is largely honourary anyway, there's nothing to stop you from asking another person to be an honourary godparent after the fact. If you form it as a request for help with your child's spiritual development, most committed Christians would be happy to accept -- especially if it's an adult who, as part of the worshipping community, already knows your child and has a responsibility for her spiritual development.

I knew two Rumanian Christians who told me that, in their tradition, one also gains Godparents through the sacraments of Confirmation and Marriage. These act as new role models for the new stage of life one is beginning. That seems like a wise tradition. I adopted a role-model for my marriage during the first year when I was struggling very hard with the role of wife. I learned a lot from her, and although I don't call her my godmother I have become very close to her.