Our 5 year old son's best friend has been telling him "You won't go to heaven because you don't (insert dogmatic idea here)." I don't want to make my son feel negatively towards his friend. What can I say to diffuse this situation??

It is tough. I would be inclined to go even farther with the religious tolerance theme...

and at the same time introduce a degree of religious judgement.

Here's what I mean:

Do you have close friends who are non-Christians, whose religious practice is very different from yours, even if it's just obviously lacking? Capture the teachable moments to discuss what beliefs and doctrines the differences are based on. We have Muslim colleagues, and both my children attended a Muslim funeral and occasionally sing "Allah hummah, salah Allah" ever since (I think that means "there is no God but God" and I have no idea if I got the spelling right <g>). Three of their aunties are Witches -- one in an open Coven, one Solitary, one a Kitchen Witch. Grandma and Grampa are essentially puritans, we're essentially catholic, Tante and Ohm are atheist. There's a Jewish family and a Buddhist family at their school. So they've had pretty sophisticated comparative religion discussions, even as young as 5. Two books that help are Peter Spier's "People" and "What I Believe" by Alan Brown and Andrew Langley.

One idea we talk about, is that some people think there's only one way to worship God, and only one way to understand God, and that people who worship differently are evil and are going to Hell. (One thing I dislike about the transition from Anglican to Lutheran worship is that the children are now well acquainted with descriptions of sin and hell). I've asked the girls to consider whether they think Auntie Tammy is evil, and whether they think our loving heavenly Father would send Auntie Tammy to hell. Okay, it's a slanted question, but it makes the point. Then I say that, while those people are allowed to think *we're* wrong to worship as we do, we're allowed to think *they're* wrong to say God will punish good people.

And I think I would also point out that, with so many things to *agree* on, we would be wise not to discuss God, worship, and heaven with people who disagree so strongly.

Good luck. Hope you find a solution that works. Children shouldn't have this kind of problem.